The Jersey Shore: A Reality Show of Poets

Written by Anhvu Buchanan, Issue 75 poet

Edited by Brianna Stout, Blog editor

The Minnesota Review gave me a daunting task: to cast a remake of The Jersey Shore using poets.  Though it might seem overwhelming to some, for me, a poet with a questionable love for reality television, it felt right up my alley.  So, The Minnesota Review and I would like to present our casting of The Jersey Shore featuring some of your favorite poets:

The Role of Vinnie to be played by Ezra Pound

Caption:  Like Vinnie, Ezra Pound was a welcome friend to everyone
around him.  Hemingway in describing Pound stated: “He defends [his
friends] when they are attacked, he gets them into magazines and out
of jail. He loans them money. … He writes articles about them. He
introduces them to wealthy women. He gets publishers to take their
books. He sits up all night with them when they claim to be dying… “
And I’m sure the rest of the cast of Jersey Shore would say the same
things about Vinnie.

The Role of Paulie D to be played by Lord Bryon

Caption:  Sure, this was easy simply because they both rock amazing
hair styles.  But like Paulie D, Lord Bryon was known not only for his
writing, but also for his life which featured aristocratic excesses, huge
debts, and numerous love affairs. And we all know the ladies love
Paulie D, just like they loved Lord Bryon.

The Role of J-Wow to be played by Anne Sexton

Caption:  We needed someone unafraid to show some skin to play the scantily
clad  JWOWW, and there is no poet better in sporting a skimpy dress than
Anne Sexton.   Like JWOWW, Anne also had some questionable and
controversial relationships.

The Role of Ronnie and Sammi to be played by Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath

Caption:  There is no poetic couple that can play the role of the
dysfunctional Ronnie and Sammi better than Ted Hughes and Sylvia
Plath.  Ronnie, just like Ted, cheated numerous times on Sammi. Sylvia, likewise, is perfect for the role of Sammi, who for some reason always seems to forgive Ronnie
and take him back.

The Role of Snooki to be played by H.D.

Caption:   Both known for their nicknames and unapologetic attitudes
about their sexuality.  Obvious selection.

And, finally…The Role of the Situation to be played by Bukowski.

Mandatory Credit: Owen Beiny / WENN.com

Caption:  Known for their physiques and ability to drink.  Famous
for their larger-than-life personalities. Both are notorious for
their ability to pull “chicks” because of these personalities.   Bukowski is definitely up to the task of creeping like The Situation.

Anhvu Buchanan’s poems have appeared or are forthcoming in 580 Split, The Cream City Review, Parthenon West Review, The Sand Canyon Review, and word for/ word.  He is currently completing both a manuscript on psychological disorders entitled The Disorder Index as well as his MFA from San Francisco State University.  He currently lives in San Francisco, co-curates The Living Room Reading Series (http://thelivingroomreading.tumblr.com) and collects wonderful internet findings and blogs them at anhvub.tumblr.com.

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